Three Things in Life #42

42. The three worst situations to avoid at all cost

  1. Be around with negative people
  2. Be around with evil people
  3. Be controlled by anyone against your will

I know one situation which has given me sadness and regret. There is one young lady who has sojourned in Toronto to start her new phase in life. She has finished her studies in Canada. Her parents went with her together to see her place and give her support for her start in real life. Her parents were very supportive of all her plans and goals. The sweet young lady was also loving and obedient. A top honor student and has a lot of plans and goals ahead of her. They believed her and still believing her confidently and trustingly. For want of a safer place. They accepted the place of her childhood friend home with her best friend family. The parents and a brother and a sister. They were family friend since the day before they have migrated to Canada from Oman. They stayed there for three weeks. They went to Niagara Falls together and in downtown Toronto together, watched the marine creatures in a huge aquarium just adjacent the Toronto Tower. In life the ones you depended on sometimes are the ones who will push you down, frustrate you and disappoint you with no end. While I am not going to blame them I am going to tell to everyone to take notice of every single events, incidents on your child. Their outward joy may cover a sinister and urgent call for help. Our minds has the ability to handle such amount of challenges only. Unless you put everything to God and you would stand on your choices in life disregarding whatever the other may feel. Learning to say no and to put a stop to things that are already encroaching to our well-being is the paramount fortress we must defend at all cost. Being strong and collected is the need of the time and every time. Believing truly in the power of God to change the situation is a must. Believing means taking action. Emboldening and empowering us to take the right decisions based on the prodding of the Holy Spirit and your rational mind. Whatever it is take a decision. Face the challenge unflinchingly but with strength faith and trust in God He will provide the way out and the solutions to all the challenges of life. People around have their own fortress they protect. They will have no morals sometimes if they thought they have to trounce you they would. They would try. Now it is you who must not fall into their trap of destroying your self-esteem, confidence and making a fool out of you when in fact they are making a fool out of themselves if you keep your ground, be still and let them throw all their evil mischief. In the end the truth and victory lies on the person who have a clear focus on principle, goal and faith in the Lord. Just keep praying and reading the words of God. In today’s technology, you can easily find the verse just put at good search biblical verse on the deliverance of the Lord and you will see many verses would pop out and would help your day survive pretty well. Well for others honestly it is a torturous passage but a passage we must survive in order to see the beauty of our dreams. Tomorrow is another day. Pray and read the bible. Don’t do what they do, wait on the Lord what He would do on them. There is no hatred but wisdom, courage and fortitude. Peace comes to those who keep holding the deliverance of God. Learning the idiosyncrasies and weaknesses of people around you would help you adjust immediately. Learning to keep up with them disregarding the shits they said and focusing on the strength of the loving God and eschew their shits in your mind and stand still. And wait and see the salvation of the world. It would surely come without a doubt. Have people who would truly guide you and mentor you on the facts of life. There was a lot of going around. The parents of the young lady met her friends including the Pastor in Hamilton. They went to her Alma mater in Hamilton and had a good time at a famous shopping center at downtown Hamilton. Finally, the young lady had to face the reality of being left behind for the long haul. She actually asked her mother to stay behind. But there was no more place for her mom in her best friend’s abode. It was for me a tearing kind of pain in my heart but I kept my silence and prayed to God. It was a heavy heart and some misgivings on the part of the father of the young lady. He was thinking of finding her a place to stay for herself but then they comforted themselves that a family home with people they knew was for the better. Little did the parents know that was the beginning of the worst nightmare of their young lady accordingly as already known to the parents; the mother and father of her best friend were known already as aloof but kind and reserved couple. They would not venture on almost everything if it has a tinge of risk in it. In fact there was no word of appreciation to things their children had achieved. The young lady’s best friend used to be a top student back in their elementary school-days in Oman. The father is laid back and demotivated. Their place where their daughter would live was perennially messy. It has always been like this ever since they knew them back then in Oman. It did create nebulae and heavy feeling to the parents of the family while they were staying there in the last remaining days of their stay in Canada. The young lady’s father had actually tried to organize the clothes, books, papers, things around the sleeping room of her best friend where two and now three including his daughter would be sleeping. It was difficult to arrange the room because it was literally a dump site. And finally concluded for himself that it was beyond redemption. The young lady and her parents agreed to put a mattress on the floor for her as her sleeping bed. This family of her best friend seemed to thrive in a messy home anyway. While the father was sure his family were quietly being suffocated with the messy site. The father remembered his childhood days when he had to clean every day and every time because of the similar situation. His mother seemed to be comfortable being messy and topsy-turvy. One day after cleaning his parent master bedroom instead of appreciating it he was scolded by her mum really bad because accordingly his mother couldn’t find her things anymore. The father did not mean to ridicule his daughter’s best friend and her family, it was just he was used for an orderly household like his in a sense. Because at times it was also in disorder. He thought that is how they survived in Toronto where most of their time were being spend either in school, work or church. Literally has no time to clean up the house seriously. He heard his friend said that he had attempted a number of times but failed. Just the same they were clean, it’s just that things were not kept neatly and were not in the right places. They were, however, very kind and hospitable in a true Filipino Christian fashion. The father considered them as one of their best found friends and felt they were truly family even to this day. Because of the realities of life in Toronto, they seemingly didn’t have a regular quality time for each other. It seemed like their bonding is very much only when they went to a church service every week. Even there, they didn’t talk much to each other. The daughter was initially elated attending the church. In fact, it was her refuge, his father supposed. The family of her best friends especially the parents were regular fixtures in the church service. Indeed, her daughters best friend’s father was a Christian chap, very modest rather shy. He would rather step back at the limelight than be in front leading. He approached life in a stoic philosophical way. He was not vocal with his concern and love for the family. But he observed his loved ran deep in his heart and soul. There were bickering and insults than expressing the right word among them yet they came together, helping, concerned and always around in a sense just like all good family. The best friend’s father view things in a negative perspective. He would see things as a monumental task. He is always averse on taking new ventures. Maybe because he has been traumatized with many years of unemployment in Canada for want of proper papers and qualifications. He was a brilliant man, he knew personally and truly low key. Canada did not immediately acknowledge the educational attainment taken from other countries. They required the people concerned to take courses and pass their exams. It took him seven years waiting for the opportunity. He studied many papers on accounting to update his qualifications only to find out that he had to spend another huge amount in order to get the accountant status in country. And if he continued it would take more time like more years. They decided with his wife to change his occupation. He went for a technical job where training courses were short and was assured of job after the training. Thankfully indeed he had got a job. The mother of her best friend on the other hand had sacrificed a lot for her family working perpetual graveyard shift to earn a living. She was in all sorts of servicing, cleaning and laboring in restaurant or factory. She slept during the day time and has virtually no time for household chores. She has her energy on Sundays or whenever there is a church service or activities. The kind of life their friends in Toronto were having was tough but he appreciated their resilience and took the experience in stride specially the children. Maybe because of this experience or maybe their other experiences made them in his thought quite pessimistic in outlook. And he observed that their friends and their children seemed not aware of their negativity. He has felt it so much during his stays and prayed hard for them alone, secretly. During the young lady’s stay with this family she had undergone some of her most frustrating experience. They inadvertently say things which were discouragement, criticism and felt a number of times very much affected by their attitude. She never felt put down in her life that way. They were not appreciative for her having a job under a Pinoy boss. It was not good enough for them. She rarely heard them encouraged her in her challenges. The mother of her best friend would ask rather, would force her in a way to join this or that in their church activities. To the extent like she felt treated like a robot without freedom to decide for herself. His daughter character was kind, obedient and softhearted. She would rather inconvenient herself rather than slight anyone. She had done a number of times courteously declining her requests and also had mentioned she’d pass attending the church but the mother would rather create a mini subtle tantrum treat her coldly to say the least, not even spoke with her if she would not bend on her ‘request’ or decision. Worse she heard things that was hurt breaking. But it was not only at home even in her job her bosses would say off tangent bordering to malicious things. The truth was she was not used to rubbish talk, expletives and cuss words There was a lot of manipulation also where in the end she found herself in a bad light. There were insults thrown on her face. At home again her best friend and her siblings were unperturbed. They would slowly avoid their own mother whenever she was around. And the young lady was the only one to face their mother for a conversation. Later she found out to her sorrow why the siblings were avoiding their own mother. The mother was exacting and would not accept no for an answer or else she would spill out tantrums like though subtle it might be but Hurt and vexed her to no end. The brother has never talked much. They were avoiding a conversation with parents which he supposed was because it was sometimes only going to contentions, arguments and insults coming from them. The younger sister prompted to warn their parents that he would call 911 for child abuse. The atmosphere was not what the young lady and his parents knew. The pressure and the exhaustion was conquering the young lady’s mind and soul and she didn’t even know about it. She felt tired, stressed and depressed beyond measure. She started avoiding the presence of anyone. She started hanging around solo at a coffee shop at North York. She would stay there till nighttime just to run away from the negative vibes. One day she had to go back to her best friend house to get her charger for her cell phone, the only connection she had to keep in touch with her parents who were always available and encouraging her to be strong and patient. After getting the charger she took a train back to North York, she didn’t realized it was actually getting late at night. The parents of the young lady had entrusted their most precious child to them whom they thought she would be just fine. He realized his daughter was in a big psychological mess only much after. He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much, Luke 16:10. Somehow the church who contributed to the pressure oblivious to their approach and treatment on her made her hopelessly in a state of no return. Her plight got even worse when she found out the situation of her father much worse she started losing her self-confidence and hungry for validation that she was just fine. Her food was basically junked food and soda as her water which greatly contributed to spiraling depression. In this story within it she has experienced negativity every day, evil in a sense that they were inconsiderate of her health, stress and situation and he was kind sure they didn’t even mean that way. They treated her according to their whims including the church. And she was controlled left and right by people who supposed to help and let her be balanced and strong. For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ, 2 Corinthians 11:13; this situation should not be part of anyone who was not ready to live away from those who truly support and care for them. However, this story is also a case of treacherous breach of trust. This was a blunder of a lifetime. Never stay with anyone who is a negative thinker. Evil character and person who disregard the rights of others and push one to do their whims. These were kind of people who seemed not ready to accept this attitude. Because they didn’t want to accept any sort of responsibilities. By all means, run away from these kinds of people because they would blame others and would invert the accusations to make them not look the culprits and would pour all the blame instead to the real victim of their action. Hurting the victim even more. They would never think they were the cause of the evil deeds. In fact sometimes they thought they were actually done holy and good service towards others. They did not know they were destructive even against their own family. Some people would not know because their hearts are deceitful. Pray for them for enlightenment. For all we know they were also victims of the world they were in. Let us not hatred rather learning and understanding and pray that you will not be in this situation with people around you. Having related the story, I want to be clear that I bear no grudge or hatred anymore to anyone of them. I believe things happen for a purpose, let that purpose be found and always learn from your mistakes and never forget the lesson. True treasures are things we cannot behold or touch. Treasures are things we keep in our hearts. And our soul. The best treasure is the love of God. The love of God shall come upon those who knows what is obedience and what is the truth. Faith is given, it is for the asking and the Lord shall give without any limitations. Just as wisdom. Both of them must be practiced in order to understand what kind of treasures they are. If you do you know that it is beyond what money can do. The grace of the Lord are for those who are contrite and sincere in their worship in truth and in spirit. As for me I shall worship God till the last breath of my life. That is where peace and abundance come. That is the end of the rainbow. Life is truly colorful filled with the treasures of the Lord. He is ready to give and share for those with genuine heart of faith and obedience. Being cheerful is the by-product of knowing that God never fails. In the end if it happens again, be strong and do in your power to find a place where peace and grace of God thrive. God will not reject a man of integrity, nor will He support the evil doers, Job 8:20. In short, never ever stay with people who have these traits in their character. Run away from them. Beware of the dogs, beware of the evil workers, beware of the false circumcision, Philippians 3:2. So remember these verses:

The three worst situations to avoid at all cost

One is with negative people, faith is lost

especially if they’re your host

two is with evil people, they’re callous

unfeeling, twister, act as if a boss

three is controlling, which is the most

and the least person not to be with because

to do things against your will is the worst (3131 words)

Author: Florentino Cruz

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