Is Good Manners A Cliche?

IS GOOD MANNERS A CLICHÉ?

The irony of life is we seemed to advance in every corner of science and technology but it looks like there is an inverse proportion on the decadence of faith in God and respect towards fellow beings. A lot of us are super friendly but that is there is to it. We forgot to nurture the deep personal relationships and learn to depend on, trust, and confide to a newfound friend.

TRUST AND CONFIDENCE

Good manners are observed for good measure – that was then but now… You cannot trust because people will use you and take advantage of your naivety (trust is naivety).  

Trust seems to equate to stupidity. And confidence is a rare part of inter-relationship.

Before we call it camaraderie, now it is but a business team spirit.

Are we in a world where good manners and respect whose cousins are trust and confidence are just commercial façades of our character? And behind it is a busy mind thinking on how to get something out of that person or those persons.

I added trust and confidence to high light the inner implications of good manners. it might not be a genuine reflection of a person’s character but good manners help one person to get into the mindset of what is good and proper. 

HOW DO WE MEASURE AS A PERSON?

We measure the person according to what it can give you rather than measuring him for being just as a person. To think this way is called stupid. How sad to know, it is not that easy to just trust or confide with anyone. We need to be careful. They said trust and respect are earned not an entitlement just because, say, you are the manager.

We measure the person by the integrity that he has, by the dreams that he keeps and by the action that he makes.

 

 

IN THE CORPORATE WORLD?

In the corporate world, everyone is an enemy. You always have the red alert mode in yourself when you approach or interact with your colleagues, bosses, and others. We wanted only to be ahead of the rat race. On how we can step on their shoulders to go up higher than those you stepped on.

It is no longer camaraderie and cooperation to work together but always on the lookout on how you could paint the others in a bad light – destroy his integrity done in front of your boss but most of the time in secret. 

This is so that you will be the one to be given trust and confidence – not that you are really concerned about it’s the bonus, increment, promotion, contract extension and perks and benefits especially given to those exemplary hard working employee, no, but in fact those who “suck the blood” of others to get ahead in the corporate world…

But hey the boss is perpetuating the setup because the greedy ones flock together and the good and proper staff are relegated by the side.

The skirmishes in the silence of their lips and the formalities of their actions rage on through maneuvering for the appointment, benefits, promotions, and whatever. You can kill your good friend in the office just for the idea of you will be a step ahead tomorrow. Good has gone down the drain long before the millennials were born.

Having said it all this way, we all have organizations or companies who has a fair treatment and correct labor practices. But no companies would care if you suffer or die after your tenure in that company.

There are cultures that perpetuate this character in us. Some are those who do not have god and the other are those who has countless ones.

 

THE REASON WHY GOOD MANNERS ARE IMPORTANT

Courtesy

This is important until the end of time. This is the character that distinguishes us from the beast in the forest. Where the rule is to break the weak and eat them whole and the strong live for the next day. 

Good manners are courtesy is a great value still held high by every people even those who do not practice it. Only if it goes their way, though. It is one of the most important ingredients to gel well with other people.

Social Etiquettes

Good manners are a social etiquette that helps anyone to be apart from those who have no substance. It is still the best and only way to have a genuine relationship with fellow human beings. The truth of the matter is the only acceptable in social interrelationship is have social etiquettes.

Good manners are more than social etiquette. Good manners run deep in the blood of the beholder. And social etiquettes sail on the surface. Both are important for a more productive social relationship and social engagement.

Moral Value & Character

More often than not it mirrors the person’s moral value and character even though sometimes they are devoid of the two. Just because one practice good manners it means they are good – no.

The complexity of this all, as we see in real life good manners is a red flag for a man devoid of integrity and good moral values.

Opportunities are near to those who have good manners. Either faked ones or original

 

 

Why do we require Good Manners:

Enhanced good vibes with others.

Generate goodwill and appreciation

Reflects the humanity to man

Showcase harmonious relationship with one another

It breaks preconceived negative notions.

Creates a viral effect, where good initiatives cause others to take a good initiative as well.

Promotes approval of you as a member of society. Good Manners are Classy.

Showcase what is a good person to a bad one.

joy and happiness just because of your presence.

Showcase the commandments of God, love one another.

Good manners give us the opportunity to spread righteousness among men.

It glues members of society to live amicably and peaceably.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GOOD MANNERS & RESPECT

Good manner is not only showing respect but how to do something at the right time and at right place.

The IMPORTANCE OF GOOD MANNERS & RESPECT

Polite greetings such as:  How are you sir/madam? We are glad to meet you and it is my pleasure, please, welcome, and thank you are wonderful way of dealing with everyone. 

Good words reflect good manners. People like to be valued, feel important, and welcomed, this in turn induces the person to be respected or shown with good manners receptive to help and to give back with cheerfulness and generosity. Appreciation, gratitude, and thankfulness being verbalized is sweeter than honey, so to speak.

This is where society stands and without it the result is chaos.

Imagine we disregard, good manners, respect, proper etiquettes, what shall become of us. Our life will be in great distress not only you get maligned, disrespected, chaos, and terrorism and anarchy could easily be the consequences.

People will start elbowing each other on public transport. Plates and dishes will be thrown and broken all around. Cuss and shouts are what you are going to hear. 

Young ones pushing the elderly and everyone will speak their kind out without disregard for others’ sensibilities. The walls will have vandalism and the roads will be littered with rubbish. People will have sex anywhere and anytime they wanted.

As the fundamental unit of society disintegrates due to the prevalence of divorce, separation, live in and the habit of abandoning children will create a negative impact on our future. Children learn the first course on behavior at home. What happens when the family that makes the home becomes either dysfunctional or a broken home? 

The children will have feelings of neglect, feeling unwanted, rejection, frustration, sadness, and depression. Their young mind cannot cope with adult issues. That is why mental health is beginning to become a major health concern. 

This is the reason why we have gunmen, compulsive disorderly conduct, and a high degree of deviants caused by deep depression. If not remedied effectively, they will be the first batch to propagate disrespect, rebellious attitude, and repulsive behavior both in action and words.

Who is responsible for the inculcation of good manners and right conduct?

  • Parents
  • Extended family relations: uncle, aunt, grandma and grandpa
  • School
  • Church
  • Community
  • Government
  • And everyone in society

All of the above have a collective responsibility to pass the importance and the habit of proper etiquette and respect to produce good manners and right conduct. The children should be given examples every time how to apply good manners in speaking and I did. The main thing is to give the children the right processes of think base on the principle of good values and respect for others. In short, we should show how to love others as we love ourselves and don’t do to others what you do not want to do to you.

At home

Teach the children how to help in house chores, follow the instructions, follow the older members of the family, and show respect at all times to parents. Introduce the necessity of remembering some of the good manners that should be practiced in and out of the house. They should be guided as they grow more and more types of proper behavior, acceptable in a civilized society.

At the Church

Learn to listen quietly to the preaching. Sit and do not roam around. Do not shout or place during the service. Respect all people regardless s of their status in society.

At school

Smile and greet teachers and classmates. Learn social etiquettes. Wait for your turn.

In the community

Be disciplined while in public places or when the parent s are speaking with their friends. Know how to greet and smile with everyone. Being polite with waiters, cleaners, sales assistants, etc.

At the workplace

Corporate offices, factories, showrooms, offices are places where decorum and rules are quietly being followed. In fact, each company or organization may have their own house rules. This must be taught to your children before you go to your office. This is to ensure proper demeanor and is known to the children. Even you yourself, lack of good manners, and proper conduct may cause the company terminate you, demote you, or lose advancement in your career.

REWARDS OF HAVING GOOD MANNERS:

Good manners are a major factor in social cohesion and smooth daily operations of activities with one another in the community or with anyone in the world.

Reward and advantages of Good manners:

 

1. Harmony at home. Good endearing relationship. Having a happy home create a happy society. Everyone is affected by one’s behavior. A bad one creates negative vibes at home.

2. Understanding one’s weaknesses and reasons for one’s misbehavior could mitigate and resolve the issues. This way children learn how to look at situations and act correctly.

3. Good manners generate politeness with one another using good words as pleasing and if you don’t mind could help children grow with effective proper behavior at home and society.

4. Good manners get respect and appropriate answers to requests.

5. Good manners by following the rules and regulations create respect

6. Good manners by being helpful and supportive of clients and patrons generate good business results.

7. Having good manners with friends will develop into a close friendship, loyalty. They will be thinking of you as well.

8. Romantic relationships with good manners mean being loving, sweet, respectful, and mindful of one’s desire, this creates even closeness and love.

9. Good manners open more opportunities in life.

10. Good manners create the activation of what you do to others will come back to you with interest.

 

 Finally

In the end,  good manners should not be a big deal for every family. It must be taught by parents and older guys to children regardless of whether the effect are not useful because of the attitude. They should tell the children the right thing. And for that, they should at least endeavor to how through their action what they are preaching about. Good manners can be more disregarded to places where stiff competitions and survival of the fittest become the mode of daily life like New York! Otherwise, even so, let every child be not deprived of good manners for this could open the door for your children good fate for good manners is like your character. We cannot fake a good manner permanently if it is not in you. Good manners make our society a great place to live in.

 

 

 

 

Author: Florentino Cruz

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